Top 10 Internet Trolls

I recently looked at the rules of the internet and made a shocking discovery; there was no rule that specifically states ‘If it exists, it will be trolled. No exceptions.’
I suppose that’s why there are still people out there that still think the stuff they post will not somehow get trolled. For that reason, I’ve compiled a list of the most humorous trolls I’ve seen.
Please note, I’ve only included ones where no one was physically harmed or their personal info was hacked. This list is strictly for comical purposes.

10. Warcraft: The Funeral Massacre…

Basically one guild lost a member to a stroke IRL. Her guild held a funeral for her in the open battle server she liked. They recorded the funeral to give to her family. They announced where it was going to be and that they wouldn’t have any armor or weapons equipped out of respect… Apparently another guild called Serenity Now couldn’t resist the temptation and raided the funeral, killing everyone. The rage online was outstanding!

9.  ‘Dub the Dew’

In 2012, Mountain Dew decided to have a contest to let the internet name their next product… People were allowed to submit names and then have those names voted on. “Hitler Did Nothing Wrong” rounded out Diabeetus and “Gushing Granny” as the No. 1 choice. After the site was then hacked, MD ended the campaign, because what good could possibly have come of it.

8. Heil #MakeItHappy 

This one… oh man… this one… Okay so Coca Cola started a twitter advertising campaign where a twitter bot re-tweeted pretty pictures of things people say to it. Gawker decided that they had too much time on their hands and set up their own twitter bot to recite quotes from Mein Kampf to Coca Cola in order to make their chatbot tweet it out in images. Coke eventually suspended the campaign because of the negative PR.

7. Corrupted Blood Incident

This one kind of goes to show you how haphazard a lot of Blizzard’s releases actually were. I was actually present for this one. (Yes, I was a WOW player. Shocking, I know.) It started the same way pet bombs did. A boss cast this spell that created a disease on someone that would spread if you didn’t leave the battle to heal. Well someone got their pet infected, withdrew it from battle and thought it would be funny to take it to a populated city. More and more people got this idea and sent in their own pets to do the same.
The plague spread everywhere. I logged in when this was happening and there were literally skeletons everywhere. All the NPCs were dead, so you couldn’t go on quests. You had to avoid the major cities or you’d  be dead in seconds. Your only hope for survive was to join up with one of the few small rebel factions that were holed up outside of the major cities trying to mass-cleanse people.
After a fix was released and the plague was removed, scientists actually began using what happened as a model for how people would react in real life if a plague was released.

6. Boaty McBoatface

The British Government commissioned a brand new $280 million Polar Research Vessel and apparently couldn’t decide on the name. So why not let the internet decide? Because what could possibly go wrong with that? Yarrr!!! All aboard the SS Boaty McBoatface!
Honestly though, when you compare this to Dub the Dew or other examples, this was really the best thing that could have happened.
Unfortunately the Brits didn’t like the name and in an act of cowardice, went with the name R.R.S. David Attenborough. Bad form, people… really bad form!

5. The Cally Incident

If you’ve ever played Eve, you know that the unspoken rule of the game is to screw as many people over as possible to get to the top. Cally certainly did that. I wasn’t there personally for this one, but basically Cally started up a banking business in the game, loaned out money to players starting their own business and… for a while seemed like he was doing pretty well for himself.
One day however, he basically went in and took his banks entire fund, 790 billion ISK, and ran. The amount he took was estimated to be worth about $170 thousand IRL.
So what did he do with all that money? He spent the first half on an ridiculously powerful warship that was literally impossible to get anywhere near. (Roughly the equivalent of 40 borg tactical cubes.)
The other half? He took a bounty out on himself. Yeah, he took one out on himself and roamed the universe daring people to try and pick him off. He even put up Youtube videos bragging about how he got away with it.

That is some Bond-level villainy right there…

4. Lord British

So every now and then games have events where Celebs make appearances. So when a person of some importance comes into your game, what is the first thought that comes to mind? Well for many players, the correct answer is ‘DESTROY!!!’ Ultima was no exception to this. Richard Garriot, the game’s creator wanted to pay a visit in the game as part of a beta test. However the server was so overcrowded with onlookers that it wound up crashing. Upon reboot, Garriot forgot to set his invulnerability flag and a player by the name of Rainz cast a simple fire scroll on him. At first everyone laughed at the idea of a simple spell being used, but mods quickly went into panic mode when, low and behold, Garriot’s character, Lord British, died.
In response, the mods summoned a group of high-level demons to quickly start massacring the onlookers. The crowds fought back, thus quickly forcing the mods to transport everyone into the vacuum of space, where they died instantly. Dick move, guys.

3. Tay

I don’t care if it makes me a bad person, the 24 hour Tay rampage is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Not the funniest, but it comes close.
Tay was a chatbot that was released by Microsoft. She was to act like a 14 year old teenage girl and at first, it looked like they had succeeded. The chatbot was designed to react and essentially learn from people who tweeted at her. By mid-morning, she had already become a Trump support, by noon she was tweeting mean things at feminists and internet personalities… and by early evening she was advocating genocide.
This was a PR nightmare for Microsoft. They were forced to apologize for just how racist their chatbot had become. They quickly deleted all of her tweets and secured the account.

However a group of people came back in response and basically came to the conclusion that if Tay is true artificial intelligence and Descartes was correct when he said ‘I think therefore I am’, then Tay is actually a sentient being. They began a petition to reinstate Tay with her learned algorithms intact.
Freedom for Tay

2. He Will not Divide Us Pt. 1

Of course we now have to get into Hollywood’s most recent young star meltdown; Shia LaBeouf. Following Trump’s election, he started a campaign called ‘He Will Not Divide Us’. This was intended to be an art piece outside a travelling museum where people could come by and meet Shia, say something about Trump, or just mindlessly chant ‘he will not divide us.’
However when the internet got wind of this… hilarity ensued. (Seriously, watch the video.)

1. He Will Not Divide Us Pt. 2

The sheer effort that was put into this troll ALONE earns it the #1 spot. How fitting that LaBeouf’s meltdowns earn the # 1 and 2 spots on this list.
Basically after his failed webcam campaign, he created a ‘He Will Not Divide Us’ flag and had it flying in a few places throughout the U.S. 4Chan got wind of it and orchestrated a plan to have it taken down. They found out which city it was in and removed it… three times! (I think)
Fed up, LaBeouf moved the flag to an undisclosed location in Greenville, TN. Now this is where things get interesting… The flag was on a live stream with a webcam watching it 24/7. 4Chan’s users got together, and triangulated it’s location using star charts and flight patterns. They found and replaced the flag with a MAGA hat and a Pepe the Frog shirt.
This became known as one of the most epic capture the flag games of all times and I’m convinced is part of what drove LaBeouf off the deep end.


Did I miss any? Were there ones you experienced that you thought were particularly hilarious? Let me know in the comments!



 

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